Is it really the end?

I knew when I started this it wouldn't do good because I started it for all the wrong reasons. And that never works out, so I think that it maybe time for it to end. :{ Not that anyone really cares, because nobody has ever seen it. But I do plan on starting another one. A much more thoughtout one. Look out for it. I hope it will do great.
Peace.

Colors of my heart, or is it colours?

Today wasn't a bad day, I woke up unable to breathe and hand to have my primary doctor come to my house, yes, live in that small of a town that doctors will do house calls. By the time he got here I had passed out again from lack of oxygen and he had to stick a big needle in me, I'm not sure but I believe it was steriods, to get my lungs working again. Now you're probably wondering why I'm telling you this. Well....I have decided to change the point of my blog....again. If anybody ever reads the early days they'll be very confused, and I appologize for that fact.
I am going to try and incorpurate what I am already doing and a day to day life of what its like to have to stay in my bed and not move. Although it doesn't sound that interesting, I promise, with all my halucinations, attempts at trying to be creative and well the so exciting world of not being able to breathe, it isn't all that bad. I'll start tomorrow because it's getting late and my meds are starting to blur my mind. Thanks
And just as a side note, you will all be getting to know the love of my life, my dog, who is my profile pic. Have a good night.

Another day another failed metaphore

So I was slightly hoping that with last nights post at least one person would have found interest in my words. But to be honest with my self I knew there wouldn't be anybody.
So tonight I was thinking of posting about the lies we're told of monitary values, or blah blah blah, but I find that the medication I have to take has caused all of my pretty words to leak straight out of my head. Whats the medication for? The question echos back at me, as nobody is reading this. Back issues, well they are far past issues at this point, my surgery is coming every closer...anyway, I suppose I could have at least a few people reading this, minus the fact that none of my friends or family know about it.....and I think I'd like to keep it that way...If nobody, currently, cares enough to ask me about how my day is going why should I lead them to the page where they could find it all out with a single click.
Besides I started this blog for all the wrong reasons, but I plan to use it for something much more productive.
And as much as I wish I could say that I will be writting something awesome tonight, I think I'm going to end up crashing in a few minutes and I wish you all the best.

Movies lie to your children

Looking back on all the movies I have watched in my life I noticed a common theme. Even the so called realistic ones, were packed full of lies. I'll start from the beginning and work my way throw the years.
As children most parents but a block on the movies we could watch, so I will stick with strickly G rated movies. Can somebody please tell me where my prince charming is? I'm sure the princesses were not much older than me, and every single one of them found there hearts true love. But I would like to see someone, anyone really, who has been plucked from poverty by a man that will wisk them away to see the beauties of the world and never look back. Do you see anyone around you willing to take that deep of a plunge? I know I don't.
And where are my magical talking animal friends. I can sing, it might not be platnum record worth, but I do have a decent voice, yet no animals crowd around me awaiting my every order to clean my room, what kind wouldn't want that? Parents baring down on them to pick up there room, and with one note a flock of birds prance in through the window and the room is spotless in just one dance scene.
And as we all grew up we learned about the Super Heros. From ones that can fly to super strenght who didn't want a piece of that. I know I did, fighting with your friends over who was cooler, and killing off the weakling that was off on its own. Come on now, everyone was a bully at one point in time. And how many people jumped off of there house attempting to fly, and when it didn't work, waiting form the Supper Hero of your choice to rescue you from the sheer stupidity you just attempted. And then of course there was the crushing blow of that never happening. Ever.
Moving forward a few years we have been exposed to Action flicks. Who doesn't love those bad boys. The cars are fast, the guys are hot, and the girls stand sexily by motercycles showing you what you can never have. And there's always that one scene, hopefully with ninja's, where the main character is surrounded by the bad guys. The close up on the faces to show just how tense the moment is. But have you ever noticed how even though the super evil destroyer of worlds out number the good guy ten to one, they always, no matter what, prance around in a circle waiting to attck one at a time even though they watch as there minion friends fall. Now as much sense as that doesn't make, then we come across the steryotypical evil genious explaining his master plan, painfully slow, as he slowly attempts to kill the savior. I would also like to point out the fact that men are always the evil doers, that is just not so, all it means is that us woman never get caught.
And that leads us to Horor cult classic. These are the movies that you would pay your eighteen year old sibling to buy the tickets for you and your underaged friend and hope you don't get caught by the guys with the flashlights. Now think about this, really, if there were that many awesome serial killers out there that could so easily avoid detection by the law wouldn't we all be dead by now? Leaving the psychopaths alone on the plant to kill off each other?
All of the super natural ones 'based on true events' if you watch the warnings at the end it normal states that it was a piece of pure fiction. Even if it weren't how is it possible that there is no actual proof outside of the movie. The one thing that I wish could be improved, even just slightly, would be the blood special effects. Most people at some point in time have seen blood, it does not gush out squirting over everyone, or look like light red paint. All these movies are good for is fightening small children that hide behind the couch on there sisters first date to see the scary movie the boy brings over as an excuse to get closer. Causing irrational fears of clowns and ax murders hiding under your bed or in your closet so when you wake up at night you swear you hear heavy breathing.
And those are just a few of the lies of life.

Aftermath of my tantrume

As I assumed the feelings of last night have drained away into a fightened cat licking at its wounds. And I have come to the realization that I will stick to the tittle of my blog and keep up that common theme. I breifley mentioned it last night, claming that parents and teachers never told us the way it would really be when we spread our wings and took the plunge.
I am only posting this out of pure boredom. I know that nobody out there has even stumbled across my minute rantings, but perhaps one day somebody will find what I have to say interesting enough to read. So later tonight, as with the title of my blog I will be posting on movies and how they lie to you from cartoons to horror. I hope you enjoy.

Is anybody out there?

That is the question that I asked my self as I slipped back into my shell. All of the usual tricks I use to pull my self from the darkness that casts over me, where lacking there normal magic. With no stone unturned I persisted, refusing to cascade over the edge again. But frantically as I looked I found no cure to my haunted state. So I began to wonder how many other people feel the same way I do and can not, for the life of them, find a safe outlet. And even more so, would anybody even care? Will anybody read this? My optimism is not high but if even one person can find solitude in my empty shell than it was worth it. The ups and downs of life are not what we are told of as kids scurrying across the playground. Never once did our parents or teachers say when you grow up do you want to be sad? Lonely? or even depressed. But that is what happens. Although this is just an off night, I'm sure, I find them coming much more frequently than what society dubs as normal. But does that really matter? If I am not normal, most would say so. There was a point in life were I would pride my self on how unique I thought I was. Little did I know that was just another lie that life was feeding me. So life I stand before you, awaiting judgment I know will come, and I laugh. How can this be when I spent hours crying before? For I realized that I am not alone. No matter the fact that there is nobody to turn to, my family unburdened with the nightmares of my mind. Friends to busy with there own skewed view on societal norms to bother checking up on a friend who is quickly slipping through the cracks. Even measures put in place to prevent an outstanding citizen such as myself have fallen by the way side, the voice on the other end of the phone cracked and distorted, as if reading from a predestined scrip. And that's when it came to me. There were others out there, feeling just like me, falling with no hand to grasp them. So I lay this out before you, do with it what you may, a haven to those with no place else to go. Even if tomorrow your feelings will have changed, those thoughts that haunt you here and now let them flow from your fingertips and your mind will rest easy if only for an hour.